and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
