Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My penis needs a shock collar
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
