You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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