Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
