NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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