so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
