brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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