Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
