Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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