I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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