But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
