You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize