Well douche your snatch and let's go!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
