Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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