I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
