You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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