I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize