I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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