I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
