so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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