I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
