I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
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she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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