I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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