then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Operation Purity has been aborted
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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