I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
this hospital has no fireball
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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