dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
