At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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