Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
