so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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