I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
