erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
