I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
