My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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