If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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