I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
