Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
