You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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