A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
