I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
