It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have demons in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
false alarm, still single
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize