idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
