How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
