You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
