The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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