I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
