Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
