I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
