too bad you live with your parents still
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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