If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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