laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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