I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
