You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
