I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
