My balls are so social today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
