I can't watch pbs sober anymore
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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