In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
