Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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