Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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