Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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