$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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