This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
