just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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