sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
