And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
