ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was like eating out sand paper
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
