I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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