i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.