Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.