I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to have your abortion
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
