oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize