i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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