So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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